


just one dream (away from who we're meant to be)

by Irratia



Series: shining bright - the idiot adventures [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Dates That Aren't Dates, Everyone Is Alive, F/F, F/M, How Do I Tag, I guess????, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Swearing, Willie is disaster queer and you can't change my mind, Yearning, pls Willie adores Alex so much, that's more like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:22:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27716746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irratia/pseuds/Irratia
Summary: “You really should just ask him out,” Carrie sighs next to him, judgement evident in her voice.“Christ, Carrie, let the boy pine,” Kayla says, but her tone is also teasing.“I’m not pining!” Willie protests.“Sure, and Carrie totally doesn’t have a crush on Flynn,” Kayla says.“I do not!”“You so do,” Nick joins in.“I thought we were bullying Willie for being a disaster gay today? Can we go back to that?” Carrie says, her cheeks reddening.“Why are we bullying me?” Willie protests against his friend's voices.“Because you ran Alex over and called him Hotdog instead of asking him out like a normal person,” Kayla says, flicking some of her sandwich crumbs at him.“That’s… fair, I guess,”ORWillie has a crush and Alex only makes him fall harder.(aka the Willie POV to "close your eyes and jump")
Relationships: Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Flynn/Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: shining bright - the idiot adventures [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989781
Comments: 46
Kudos: 381





	just one dream (away from who we're meant to be)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all!  
> A bitch is back after almost a month with whatever this is! Hell yeah! It took some time because considerable parts were written ~drunk~ so. Editing was fun.  
> This is the Willie POV fic that now accompanies "close your eyes and jump", and while that isn't necessary for anyone to understand the story I'd still recommend reading it because some spaces I left in here are filled there, as I didn't want to just copy and paste the fics.  
> Yeah. So. I hope you enjoy! :D

“Okay, so let me get this straight-,” Carrie starts.

“He can’t really do that,” Nick interrupts. Carrie glares at him, then turns back on Willie.

“You spoke to the guy you’ve had a crush on for two years for the first time on Wednesday, then saw him on Saturday and decided to _run_ him over?” 

Willie sighs. “I didn’t really think about what was gonna happen,”

“You didn’t think about what was going to happen when you skated into him at full speed?”

“Well, I thought maybe I’d just pretend to get caught on something and fall to his feet and he’d help me up, or I’d knock into him and help him up, y’know?”

“Yeah, but you ran him over,” Nick interjects.

“I know, I was there,” Willie mumbles.

“Why can’t you just have a crush on him like a normal person?” Carrie asks, exasperated.

Willie is caught between firing something back at her and letting his head drop onto their lunch table so he can avoid looking at her because this conversation has, thus far, been nothing but humiliating. Carrie’s phone screen lights up, and she looks at it.

“You called him Hotdog?!” she gapes at him immediately after.

Willie shrinks in on himself even further. One of Alex’s friends, probably Flynn, must have told Carrie about that.

“Kinda, yeah?”

“Willie, I love you, but what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Nick and Kayla who have been watching this go down with growing amusement start giggling now, while Carrie stares at Willie, open mouthed.

“It just slipped out? I wanted to give him a cute nickname, but-,” he tries to explain himself, scrambling for something that could explain the situation.

“Calling him something that’ll remind him of the time him and his best friends almost freaking died is not cute!”

“Thanks, Carrie, I know that!”

Willie doesn't dare look over to Alex's table, even though he has a perfect view of it. He keeps his eyes trained on his hands, that just two days ago held the other boys' ones while patching them up. Willie had for some reason always assumed that Alex's hands would be soft, but they had actually felt quite rough against his own. In retrospect that makes sense, because Alex is a drummer and of course his hands will get calloused from that, but it had still taken Willie by surprise. Not that it's a bad thing. Willie very much likes the sensation against his own hands, he can’t deny that.

He also really hadn’t intended on running him over. But he'd been skating and seen a jean jacket that was all too familiar to him due to extensive staring, and made the decision to finally get into an actual conversation with Alex.

Willie had imagined the situation as him skating up to Alex, then pretending to trip, next to the other boy and him obviously helping him up, because that was what Alex did, and then Willie being incredibly smooth and making conversation.  
Or skating up to the other boy and pretending to be surprised and like “hey, don't we go to the same school?” which was stupid because they had just talked during Carrie's Dance Club. And how was he supposed to know that Alex would just stop suddenly, in the middle of the sidewalk, while Willie was trying to execute a maneuver to woo him? He’d had no way of knowing that that would happen, but it did, and Willie had crashed into his crush at full force and fallen to the ground, and now he’s the reason the other boy’s hands are scraped up.  
He’d been pleasantly surprised, though, by Alex's reaction and relative calm to the incident, and then immediately saddened by the other boy’s tales about homophobic family and also fascinated with how much stuff Alex actually carried around in his fanny pack everywhere he went. And he’d gotten to hold Alex's hands, and clean them, and be very close to the other boy and talk to him for a while. All in all he'd really, really enjoyed that afternoon.

But now Willie is way too aware of how desperately stupid that plan was from the beginning and also that he has, just a few minutes ago, called his crush “Hotdog”. Which is not great, because, if Willie remembers the time Alex nearly died, then Alex definitely does, too. He groans and puts his face in his hands.  
Someone, probably Carrie audibly sighs, and the others sober up.

“Okay, look. It might not have been the best way to initiate contact with him, and giving him that nickname is, well, questionable,” Nick starts.

Willie lifts his head again, to look at his friend, who’s got a sympathetic smile on his face.

“But hey, you started talking, right? And he seemed to like hanging out with you and certainly doesn’t seem to dislike you now, so that’s a start, right?”

Kayla nods next to Nick, and Willie has to admit the other boy’s got a point. Alex probably hadn’t actively disliked him on Saturday and also didn’t seem irritated a few minutes ago, only confused. Willie finally dares to glance at the other table again.  
The weather’s pretty nice, a light breeze in the air, the sky blue and the sun bright. Willie has positioned himself very much on purpose, so that he can look at the other boy without seeming too suspicious. It’s worth it.  
Alex looks angelic. The sun makes his blond hair glow like a halo, the light breeze tugging a few strands into dance around his face. Willie knows that his eyes glint in the sunlight because they’ve done so only a few minutes ago. Right now Alex is laughing at something Reggie must have said, because Luke seems to have tried launching himself over their table at him. And that’s not a rare occasion, as far as Willie can tell about Alex’s friends from sharing classes with them. Alex pushes his hair out of his face again, and Willie can’t help but wonder how it would feel to play with the other boy’s hair, because he’s pretty sure it’s very soft. Also on Saturday it smelled very good, which probably sounds creepy but their heads had been so close together at times that Willie couldn’t not be aware of it.

“You really should just ask him out,” Carrie sighs next to him, judgement thickly evident in her voice.

“Christ, Carrie, let the boy pine,” Kayla says, but her tone is also teasing.

“I’m not pining!” Willie protests.

“Sure, and Carrie totally doesn’t have a crush on Flynn,” Kayla says.

“I do not!”

“You so do,” Nick joins in.

“I thought we were bullying Willie for being a disaster gay today? Can we go back to that?” Carrie says, her cheeks reddening.

Her crush on Flynn has been getting more and more apparent in the last few weeks. They’re paired for a project in English class where they have to analyze some scenes for _A Midsommer Night’s Dream_ , and Carrie has basically been talking non-stop about how smart Flynn is. It’s cute, really. 

Carrie hasn’t had the easiest time in the past few years, coming to terms with her sexuality and having a big break in her friendship with Julie and Flynn and feeling lost.  
Willie had first become friends with Nick, who was Carrie’s boyfriend at the time, and while he hadn’t really liked the girl at first he’d soon come to realize there was a hidden depth within her. They had become fast friends after she’d realized the flaws in her behaviour and started making amendments. And he's glad of it, too. They've got more in common than people might assume at first. 

Both of them are the only children of very rich men. Carrie’s mother left the family early on in her life; Willie was adopted by Caleb as a young boy.  
Both of their fathers had left them alone a lot in their childhoods, and neither of them had really known how to fit into their father’s lifestyles.  
Trevor had settled down mostly, and now he is entirely devoted to Carrie.  
Caleb… Willie isn’t too sure about what to think of his dad at times. 

Some of these experiences have bonded them together, and while they aren’t as tight-knit as, say, Alex and his friends, they’re pretty close. But they also haven’t gone through a near-death experience so maybe that’s okay. Point is, Willie is actually really happy for Carrie and that she’s not only daring to actually have friendship with Flynn and Julie, but that she also (somewhat) admits to having a crush on her. Which is fair. If Flynn weren’t an out lesbian, and Willie wasn’t hopelessly crushing on Alex, he’d probably be in the same boat. 

“Why are we bullying me?” Willie protests now, because he just gets more shit for his crush than she does, as general rule apparently.

“Because you ran Alex over and called him Hotdog instead of asking him out like a normal person,” Kayla says, flicking some of her sandwich-crumbs at him.

“That’s… fair, I guess,”

“Yes, it absolutely is fair. Stop pouting, you know I’m right,” Carrie says.

Nick laughs again. Kayla suddenly grins, which means she has an idea. Which usually isn’t a good thing, because that has gotten them into the Wilson’s pool at three a.m. on a particularly cold day while wearing very little to see who could take the cold the longest. It’s lucky they didn’t all die of hypothermia.

“You could join Dance Club,” she says now.  
Carrie lets out a delighted gasp and starts grinning at him, which doesn’t particularly help his confusion.

“What, why?”

“Uh, because you like dancing?”

“Yeah, but we do that all the time at Carrie’s house, so why would I join a dance club?”

“Okay, sure, but there’s someone else you know in Dance Club, right?” Kayla continues to press.

“You?”

“Oh, Willie, come on,” Nick interjects.

Willie still doesn’t know what they’re getting at.

“ _Alex_ is in Dance Club, William. You could join. See him every week. Talk to him like a normal person. Get to know him better, all that good stuff?” Carrie says.

“Oh, yeah,” Willie has not actually considered this.

It’s not like he doesn’t like dancing. As Kayla said, he actually really enjoys it and has, thus far, learned all of the choreographies Carrie and Kayle work out for Dirty Candy. He’s just never really thought of joining their club because they dance together a lot already. But, well. He’s seen Alex dancing last week, and holy fuck, the things that’d done to his heart? Seeing that every week might actually kill him.

“You can join on Wednesday. We’re actually already working on a choreography especially for pairs, so, you know,” Carrie says, and winks at him. Willie does know.

\- 

The following Wednesday he accompanies her and Kayla to the gym after classes have ended for the day. They’re a bit late, because their last subject was English and Carrie might have gotten carried away with Flynn. Willie allows himself a small smile for that pun. They stroll in, a good amount of the Club’s members already present. Alex is already there. He’s taking a sip out of his bottle, when they enter. Looks over, locks eyes with Willie. Then he suddenly chokes on his water and sputters around.

“Jesus Christ, why are both of them like _that_?” Carrie says in a barely concealed whisper behind Willie.

“Oh, let them be, I think it’s cute,” Kayla says.

“It’s not cute, they’re both so goddamn… obvious,” Carrie says.

Willie is a bit preoccupied with wondering why Alex seems to have choked the moment they locked eyes, and if he’s got something weird on his face. He turns to the girls.

“Do I have something on my face?”

“A stupidly smitten smile, why?” Carrie says.

“Shit, you think he noticed?”

“Honestly? No. From what Flynn tells me he’s just as dense as y-” Kayla elbows Carrie in the ribs, and Willie, who honestly is only paying them half as much attention as he should because fuck, is he actually that obvious? doesn’t notice the implications of that sentence. 

“Well, what are you waiting for? Go over and talk to him?” Carrie urges.

“What do I say to him?”

“Just be yourself,” Carrie says.

“That wasn’t my question!”

Before Willi can protest further Kayla gives him a little push in Alex’ direction. And. Well. Willie’s on his way now, so he doesn’t stop. Alex seems to be trying to dry the few wet spots on his shirt, which isn’t working, when Willie sits himself down next to him. 

“Hi,” he manages, and gives Alex a smile, because he can’t seem to wipe that off his face with the other boy present.

“Hi,” Alex says.

“So, how are the hands?” Willie asks. He’s determined no to be too embarrassing today, and he knows that once he gets into the flow of conversation, he’ll be good.  
Alex looks down at them, the dark scabs still evident on his lower palms and Willie is flooded with guilt.

“They’re getting better,” Alex says, wiggling them a bit in Willie’s direction before he stops and shakes his head, muttering a small “okay” to himself.

“Alex, listen, dude. I’m still really, really sorry about running you over, I don’t know if I actually really apologized for that on Saturday,” Willie says. Alex looks up from his hands at Willie and he’s once again taken aback at how pretty the other boy’s eyes are. They seem to be changing colour, sometimes a piercing blue, a soft green in other moments. It’s very distracting.

“Oh, nah, dude, it’s fine! We both could have been more careful and it was a nice distraction from my family and…” Alex trails off.  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up again, it’s a real bummer,” he adds in a smaller voice.

Willie’s heart clenches at that. He hates the fact that Alex has a family that seems pretty shitty and that he thinks he could annoy Willie with that.

“Bro, it’s totally fine! I mean, if running you over helped distracting you then maybe I should do it again sometime,”

Alex seems to relax a bit and snorts.

“Or you need to learn how to skate responsibly,”

“Okay, low blow dude. I actually take great care in not running everyone over, I look specifically for guys who need distraction!”

Alex actually laughs at that and Willie melts a bit at the sound. He wants to say something else, although he doesn’t exactly know what, but Carrie calls them to start stretching. 

Willie actually really enjoys Dance Club, he realizes. For two reasons;  
One, he likes dancing, likes seeing his friends happy and in their element, moving to music and learning things.  
Two, Alex. Willie has been _aware_ (see: crushing) of Alex for a good two years now. He’s been sneaking glances in classes or hallways, at dances, basically at any possible time. And while the other boy seems relaxed when he’s hanging out with his friends, Willie has never seen him as free and happy on his own, as he looks while he’s dancing.

Alex moves with grace and a fluidity that is absolutely captivating, something Willie has already noticed last week. But then he’d tried no to be too focused on Alex because they had not actually spoken at all, outside of class, and openly staring would be creepy. But now?  
His attention is on the other boy as much as he can spare, because he still wants to look good and at least somewhat competent. Alex looks genuinely happy, and even though he’s holding his body with concentrated tension he seems relaxed. He moves with purpose and certainty, all of the anxious energy that usually keeps his hands fidgeting gone. He looks comfortable in his own skin. And if Willie wasn’t smitten before, he definitely is now. Because Alex also somehow, unfairly, gets more attractive with exertion.  
He’s wearing black shorts and sneakers, which is pretty normal, a baby blue shirt that flies up at times. As sweat builds up his cheeks gain some colour, his hair plasters to his forehead a bit, and Willie is mesmerized by the way it looks when Alex pushes it out of his eyes in the tiny breaks Carrie allows them. Alex also keeps looking at Willie, just for a few seconds, eyes flitting away the moment he notices Willie sees him.  
Carrie pushes them, as Willie expects. He’s actually pretty exhausted when she lets them off, an hour and a half later. 

He joins Alex on the bleachers again, still absolutely blown away by the bother boys’ talent.

“You’re a pretty damn good dancer,” he says, because it’s true and he just knows that he’ll talk about this with Carrie and Kayla later, or Nick, or all of them, and they’ll be merciful (somewhat) when he has actually managed to compliment Alex for once.  
The boy in questions snorts and gives a short shake of his head.

“Yeah, right. I’m average at best,” he says.

Willie frowns a bit at that. He wonders, for a second, if Alex is joking, but he’s actually looking at him with sincerity in his eyes. And once again Willie’s heart clenches, because Alex really doesn’t know, does he?

“You really aren’t” Willie says, and it comes out a lot softer than intended.

“Okay,” Alex says, but he still doesn’t accept it, and it’s actually painful to see Alex simply deny his own talent.

He doesn’t want to push though, destroy that tiny bond that has formed between them. Alex breaks eye contact and looks back down at his lap where he’s twisting his water bottle in his hands. Back to the tension, it is then.

“Hey, so do you have any plans for today?” Willie asks instead. Alex lights up, then dims again.

“I have band practice,” he says in an entirely too apologetic tone.

Because Willie still doesn’t know Alex as well as he’d like, he’s far from it, but he knows how important that thing is for him. He’s seen Julie and the Phantoms perform once, and was absolutely in awe of their talent. But that doesn’t happen without practice. He knows, because, well. Carrie has Dirty Candy and is preoccupied with it a lot of the time.  
And Willie understands, he really does, but he still feels a bit disappointed, feels his shoulders sag a bit.

“Okay, another time, then?” he asks, because god, he really wants to hang out with Alex more, now that he knows he isn’t opposed to it. Alex gives him a bright smile, and Willie just knows that he needs to see that smile again.

-

He does see it again, actually, the next day at school.  
And the day after that and the next monday.

And the following Friday, he’s skating around, as one does, and almost runs Alex over again. He just so manages to come to a stop in front of the blond boy, who looks somewhat stressed out, but also seems at least somewhat happy to see him.

“We really gotta stop meeting like this,” Willie says, grinning at Alex.

“Yeah, probably,” Alex says, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

He watches as Willie takes off his helmet and shakes out his hair.

“So, what’re you doing?” Willie asks, watching Alex watch him. The other boy immediately tenses a bit, and looks away.

“Uhm, just clearing my head I guess,” he admits, with a smaller voice.

“Again?” Willie asks, not wanting to be too pushy, but still hoping that Alex will talk to him so that maybe he can help. And because that would maybe, maybe give him the opportunity to spend some time with him.

“Well, yeah. It’s complicated,” Alex looks down at his feed now, biting his lip and Willie realizes that some distraction would probably be good for Alex in this moment.

He reaches out and lightly pushes Alex’ left shoulder.

“Alright, I’ve got an idea,” he says, and Alex looks back up at him. THis eyes flash green at Willie in the sunlight, which leaves him just a bit breathless.

“C’mon,” Willie says, and picks up his skateboard, because he knows just what to do with Alex.

In hindsight he should have guessed that Alex wouldn’t necessarily be thrilled to enter a Club, even though they don’t actually enter it.  
But he still follows him, and Willie takes the chance to grab the other boy’s hand.  
Maybe he’s rambling the entire way up the fire escape stairs to keep himself from losing it because now they’re actually holding hands. Or, well. Their hands are holding each other, with or without romantic intent on both sides. But Alex doesn’t let go and Willie keeps talking. It’s not even like he's saying anything of value, but it keeps him from freaking out, so there’s that. 

In theory Willie isn’t actually all that allowed on the roofs of his dad’s clubs, but he isn’t there to scold him and would probably (maybe?) support his son in his gay endeavours.  
He steps out onto the roof, holding the door for Alex, and realizes that he doesn’t know whether the other boy has a fear of heights at the same moment Alex whispers a “Holy shit,” his grip on Willie’s hand tightens. 

“I hope you’re not afraid of heights, maybe I shoulda asked before going up here,” Willie says apologetically and looks at Alex who gives him a smile and shakes his head.

“I’m not, Luke, from my band, is though. He went to New York once, with his parents, and they sent us a lot of photos where he’s just crying on top of the Empire State Building. He couldn’t even climb a tree when we were younger,” Alex says, grinning in a way that makes Willie think he enjoys this memory.

“So, you’ve all been friends for a really long time, huh?” Willie asks.

Alex nods. He looks around with a bit of awe on his face, but the mention of his friends and their history makes him softer. It’s pretty clear that he loves them a lot. Willie tries not to ponder on that too long, because he doesn’t want the memories of his own, largely friendless childhood and early teenage years to ruin this for him.

“Do you like it?” Willi asks after a moment, gesturing at the rooftop.

He loves being somewhere up, somewhere with an overview when he needs to clear his head, and he wants Alex to like this place as well, almost desperately so.

“Yeah,” Alex says, and he’s looking at Willie and his voice is breathy and Willie flees. Not really, but he jumps on his board and skates around a bit, to get some of that energy out.  


Later, they sit shoulder to shoulder on the edge of the roof, looking at the view, and Willie finally dares ask about why Alex is upset today. The answer takes him by surprise.  
“Okay, uhm. Well. So I’m staying at Julie’s house at the moment, just for a few nights,” Alex says. 

Willie’s surprised by that. Sure, Trevor lets him stay over sometimes, but never longer than like, one night. Alex presses on.

“It’s not unusual, honestly. Julie has this garage next to her house, which is kinda our studio and where we practice, but it also has a really nice couch, and her mom put a mattress down in the loft-space. Mine,” Alex stops for a second. His eyes are very obviously focused on avoiding Willie’s gaze. “Well, mine and the other guys’ homelives aren’t like, great, to put it mildly,” he says.

Willie watches Alex. Like the first time he learnt about Alex’s parents his heart just hurts for the other boy. And his friends.

“Mine are pretty homophobic, as you know by now. Reggie’s just never stop fighting and forget him in the process. Luke’s parents love him but don’t agree with his choices. Julie’s parents are absolutely amazing, honestly. We used to crash at the studio two years back, when it got too bad at home, and they found out, obviously. And instead of kicking us out they began making the garage easier to sleep in. Rose, that’s Julies mom, put down a mattress and bedding for all three of us, and Ray, her dad, fixed up a tiny bathroom for us to use. Whenever it gets bad at home they have one, or two, or all of us over until we can go back home,” Alex lets out a breath at the end of his explanation, fiddling with his fingers.

Willie starts rubbing his left thumb over a scar on his right arm, from a bad bone fracture.

Julie’s parents sound absolutely amazing. He tells Alex as much.  


“They really are. And I love them, I really do. But sometimes it gets to be a bit too much, to see them so happy together and so supportive of everything Julie does, when I know what awaits me at home, you know?” Alex agrees, looks up at Willie, then shifts his eyes away again, before adding: “Yeah. So, I just needed to get away for a bit,”

Willie keeps his eyes fixed on the other boy, truly not really able to do much else. He gets more and more fascinated with Alex, the more he actually gets to know him.

“You’re really lucky to have your friends and a support system like that,” Willie says truthfully, and wonders what it would be like, if him and Carrie and the others were as close as Alex and his friends are, because he doubts that any of their parents would be as kind as Julie’s are. It's not like they're bad people, it's just that they don't give off the vibe he gets from what he's just learned about the Molina parents.

“I... Yeah, I think I am,” Alex says quietly, but it’s pretty obvious to WIllie that the other boy is somewhat uncomfortable now. And he kind of feels bad for making Alex tell so much of himself, while he hasn’t really given the other boy much in return in terms of vulnerability.

“My dad is away a lot, for his shows. Which is okay, I guess, because I get to do whatever I want, but sometimes I get really lonely when I’m just home alone. When I was younger he’d be really strict with me, and I wasn’t allowed to do much of anything,” he offers, and then turns his eyes away from Alex.

He doesn’t really talk about his father all much because it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t really like talking about him anyway, so getting into more details is… uncharted territory.

“Is that why you like skating at breakneck speeds and running other people over?” Alex asks, drily and Willie chuckles.

“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?” he asks, looking back at Alex, for a second, who graces him with a soft smile, before looking down onto his skateboard. It’s a bit scary, he thinks, that Alex makes him want to lay himself bare, to tell him everything the other boy wants to know and more.

“Nah,”

“You’re right, though. I started skating because it gave me an excuse to be outside and do my own thing, and it still makes me feel more free than when I'm just walking around. And the trill of skating where I probably shouldn’t is pretty great. It helps me focus on other things, you know? Clears my head, calms me down,” he explains, slowly, looking back at Alex.

“That’s sorta what drumming does for me. There’s no better way to deal with your feelings than whaling on some drums. It helps me release some energy when I need to,” the other boy says. So they’ve both got coping mechanisms. Fun.

“You’re really good on the drums,” Willie says, before he can stop himself.

He’s seen Alex perform before and also maybe occasionally hangs back around the music room when Alex and his friends fuck around with the instrumnets because he enjoys listening to them jam. He likes music, so. Listening to it for free is not creepy, even if it's technically without them knowing he's there. He hopes.

“There are better drummers,” Alex protests, and Willie watches as the other boy’s cheeks fill with a bit of colour.

“You’re like, really bad at taking compliments, dude,”

“Yeah. Sorry. They make me kinda uncomfortable,” Alex says.

“Well, I’ll just have to compliment you until you aren’t anymore,” Willie grins, and he’s pretty sure that this could be considered flirting, and also Alex deserves all the fucking compliments in the goddamn world. He decides to give the other boy a compliment everytime they see each other from now on.

But he can also see that Alex gets somewhat uncomfortable now, and so he shifts the topic, and all of a sudden the sun is setting and he’s still sitting on the roof with Alex and chatting, and watches him while he talks, following the other boy’s hands as they fly through the air while he talks, and losing himself in the dancing strands of glowing gold and the shape of his smile.

The sun is setting spectacularly, but the boy in front of him is more spectacular, Willie thinks. The pink of the sky reminds him of something he’s been wondering about for a while, even before him and Alex started actually talking

“Can I ask you another question?” he asks, actually daring to, and watches with a surprisingly knotted stomach, as Alex thinks for a second, then nods.

“Why do you wear so much pink?” Willie asks, and immediately sees the way Alex’s brows knit together, so he rushes an explanation. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging, just curious. Considering how homophobic your parents are they must not like you wearing pink,”

Alex’s face relaxes again and his chest puffs out a bit. He grins. “Spite, mostly,” he says.

Willie guffaws, but also he definitely wants to know more, because that look of pride and confidence on the other boy’s face is to die for and he’s hoping for a story. Not that spite isn’t an entirely reasonable and satisfying explanation, he totally understands the sentiment, but Willie’s got the feeling that there’s more to the story.

“You’re right, my parents absolutely hate it. When I came out to them I was fifteen. I’d known about being gay for a few years already. Was out to the guys and Julie for about a year and a half. Coming out went badly, as you can imagine. My dad especially, but both of them got really angry and there were lots of slurs and yelling. They didn’t kick me out, but I ran away,” Alex explains, his voice quiet and soft again.

Willie suddenly feels bad for asking, because he just seems to keep on making Alex tell him this horrible stuff about his family and he doesn’t want to be the reason Alex has to relive all of that shit.

“I’m so sorry,” he says. Alex just shrugs, not looking too perturbed.

“It’s not like it’s your fault. They just suck.”

“Still,” Willie says, and thinks about saying more, but Alex presses on.

“Yeah. Well. I ran away, to the Molina’s, obviously. I didn’t come out to them then, but finding me crying on their doorstep with a backpack was enough for them, I think. They took me in, and called Reggie and Luke, and left us alone, and I swear, I’ve never seen Luke as angry as he was that day, when I told them what my dad had said to me,” Alex takes a deep breath, then goes into more detail.

Tells Willie about how angry Luke had been, and how they’d all cried and cuddled and fallen asleep together, and how all of his friends had come together to support him, expanding his collection of pink clothes, after Luke had started it. Willie almost feels physical pain at the thought of how terrible and frightening that must have been for Alex, how painful the outright rejection from his parents must have been in contrast with the unquestioning acceptance of the Molina’s. He listens, enraptured.

“I honestly don’t know where I’d be without the others. I was pretty confident in my sexuality thanks to them before my coming out to my parents. And their support in that time really helped me. Luke was right, of course. My parents hated it, when I came home with this sweater. And it felt great. And somehow the others just kept ‘finding’ pink clothing for me. Ray suddenly remembered a pink dress shirt that I could wear to my cousin’s wedding, and it fit me perfectly. Reggie found a pair of pink socks that I could have. Julie and Rose kept finding pink shirts. And I wore them all, and I still do, because it makes my parents angry and I don’t owe them shit,”

Alex is rubbing the hem of his shirt between his fingers and looks over at him. Willie stares at him, openly.  
He knows it’s probably too much, especially for someone like Alex who doesn’t seem entirely comfortable with a lot of unshared attention, but he can’t help it. He’s in awe of this boy. He doesn’t know what to say. In front of him, bathed in sunlight, hair glowing golden, eyes an intense green in this light, and so, so brave sits Alex and-

“Also I look good in pink,” Alex adds, as the silence stretches.

Willie knows he has to say something, but he doesn’t know what. Because there’s this amazing, wondrous boy right in front of him. With so much shit in his past, which makes Willie’s entire chest hurt because Alex doesn’t deserve any of that. Because Alex keeps pushing on, and has these people backing him, and is so, so strong and brave and talented and wonderful. What do you say to someone like that?

“You’re pretty fucking stellar, do you know that?”

And yes, this feels appropriate. Alex looks very overwhelmed with this statement, but Willie does not regret it.  
Alex is stellar.

“I’m just really lucky when it comes to my friends,” he mumbles.

And Willie’s heart clenches even more, because how, _how_ can it be, that Alex doesn’t see this? That he doesn’t see that no matter how great his friends are (which they are, and Willie makes a mental note to thank them sometime in the future), that he is still the one marching into his homophobic parents’ house wearing pink. That he’s still the one who’s unapologetically gay, and loves dancing, and drumming and doesn’t shy away from cuddling with his friends in public, and is more daring than he thinks and so confident and snarky.

Willie is suddenly very overwhelmed by his emotions.  
He’s liked Alex for a long, long time. And this liking, this crush, has suddenly intensified into something more, something bigger, even if he wouldn’t call it love just yet. Willie looks at Alex, beautiful and glowing in the setting sun, an intricate puzzle that’s slowly starting to be solved, splaying out, growing more beautiful, more fascinating, more amazing with every piece falling into place.  
He considers saying something. Laying out his soul right here and now, on the roof of his dad’s club, etching it into the concrete and dirt, for the world to see, for Alex to hear.  
He really considers it. But he doesn’t.  
He looks at Alex and fantasizes about pushing the hair out of his face, cradling his face and just kissing him. But he doesn’t.  
He needs to calm down, because this is just. Overwhelming. He clears his throat.

“You, uh, you should probably get going, huh?” he says. He sees the flash of emotion in Alex’s face, disappointment maybe? Fear?

“Yeah. Uh, yeah. Sorry for rambling and-” Alex starts.

Willie immediately realizes how this must seem to Alex, who’d just laid another part of himself bare only for Willie to immediately send him home. He cuts in:

“Dude, don’t apologize,” he says.

And again, he wants to say so much more, but he doesn’t dare to. Not yet. He’s never been particularly elegant with his words, and now his tongue seems tied.

“Sorry,” Alex says, and immediately cringes a bit.

God, can this boy get any cuter? It’s criminal, honestly. He smiles at Alex, who, once again looks a bit unsure.

“C’mon, I’ll show you out so you don’t get arrested,” Willie says, getting up.

“How kind,” Alex says drily and Willie grins.

It’s surprisingly easy to move on from somewhat uncomfortable situations with Alex. He holds his hand out to the other boy, who doesn’t even hesitate, really, and just takes it.

Willie decides to see how things go with Alex. He doesn’t seem to mind Willie’s taking his hand, or sitting close together, or talking about everything that matters and nothing at all.  
But Alex is physically affectionate with his friends too. It happens regularly, that Willie catches sight of him and Alex has both arms slung around Luke and Reggie, or holds Julie’s hand, or hugs Flynn tightly.  
So, Willie is going to see how things go. Because he’s pretty sure that Alex likes him, he just doesn’t know in what way.

The way down goes faster than Willie appreciates, and he only lets go of Alex’s hand when they’re standing on the sidewalk again, the street now bathed in shadows as the setting sun is blocked by the surrounding buildings.

“We should do this again sometime,” Willie says, looking at Alex, who’s gazing back at him.

They’re standing right next to each other, both leaning closer into each other than . It’d be pretty easy for him to just lean up and press a kiss to Alex’s lips. Willie doesn’t. He’s got that much self control at least. He hopes.

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” Alex agrees.

It might be a trick of the twilight, or Willie’s overwhelmed and muddled brain, but for a second it looks like Alex might actually be looking at his lips. It’s probably just Willie’s imagination.

“Uh, I’ll see you in school?” Alex says.

“Yeah,”

Willie, because he is, apparently, as pathetically crushing on Alex, as Carrie always says, can’t help himself and just throws his arms around Alex and hugs him. Alex gives great hugs. He’s just a bit taller than Willie himself, and hugs with strength, pulling Willie in a bit tighter.  
Willie knew that already, of course, but Alex smells good, even though he can’t really put a finger on what it is. He decides to pull back before it gets weird. They stare at each other for a second, and Willie can feel a smile spreading over his face because he actually hasn’t felt this calm and contetn in weeks. Alex smiles back at him, looking considerably less stressed than he did when they met today. Willie counts that as a win.

“See you around,” Alex says.

"Willie nods, still smiling, then, before he can stop himself he says:

"You do look really good in pink, by the way,"

"Thanks," Alex says, and the light might be bad, but Willie is pretty sure that’s a blush on his cheeks. Adorable. Also good, because his own face feels toohot. Alex nods again, smiles, then turns around and stalks away. Willie watches him go.

He skates home, to the mansion in the hills that his dad owns.  
When he was younger he could never get enough of skating down them, feeling absolutely thrilled with the wind pulling at his hair and the wheels of his board scraping against the asphalt, when he came to a stop.  
By now that isn’t nearly enough to get his blood pumping, but he’s also older so he can basically do whatever he wants. And what he wants to do right now is think about Alex. Although maybe that’s not really voluntary, but he can’t tear his thoughts away from the way the other boy looked today, and what he told Willie and how confusing and how much the feelings are, that he’s feeling right now.

He’s so in his own head, that he doesn’t even notice the expensive car in the driveway, or the extra pair of shoes near the entrance.  
He doesn’t notice the lights that shouldn’t be on, being on. 

It’s only when he makes his way to the kitchen to get a snack, that he realizes what day it is. Mostly because Caleb is standing in it, looking somewhat unsatisfied. He looks up when Willie enters.

Willie doesn’t really know what makes him do it. Whether it’s the fact that he hasn’t seen his dad in over a month, and that there’d only been rushed phone conversations about school.  
Or if it’s how glad Willie is to have a father that doesn’t care about his sexuality, and takes care of him even if he’s not always home or someone Willie trusts entirely.  
Or if it’s because Willie is just in a really good mood today.

“William! Where were you? I called the Wilson’s but you weren’t there-” Caleb starts, but Willie takes him by surprise, crossing the distance between them easily and hugging him.

Caleb lets out a surprised gasp, but doesn’t push Willie away, just hugs him back.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, concern lazed into his tone.

“I just missed you. Also I’m sorry that I wasn’t home, I forgot you were set to come home today and I was hanging out with-” Willie cuts himself off. 

Caleb and his relationship isn’t necessarily bad, but also not really… great.  
And while Willie knows that Caleb isn’t gonna be homophobic considering he’s gay himself he hasn’t really talked to his father about any crushes. Especially not Alex. 

“I missed you too, son. Who were you hanging out with?” Caleb says.

He’s the one to break the hug, but his blue eyes sparkle with fondness and Willie suddenly knows that today’s a good day. That his dad is having a good day, and that he can talk.

“Okay, so dad. There’s this guy,” he starts. His dad is on the way to the fridge, but stops.

“Oh, you mean that drummer who’s in a band with Carrie’s ex-best friend?”

So maybe Willie has actually talked about Alex before.

“Carrie and Julie are friends again. But yeah, so. That’s him. His name is Alex and he’s really, really smart and talented and we’ve started talking recently and today I ran into him by chance and we hung out, I hope it’s okay we went to the roof of the Ghost Club, by the way? He’s always a bit on edge and I thought it might help and-” Willie realizes he’s rambling because he’s having trouble getting a proper breath in. His dad chuckles, then cuts it.

“When’s the last time you actually went grocery shopping?” he asks, peering into the empty fridge.

Willie cringes, because it’s been a while and he’s been clearing out the cupboards recently. He’d just forgotten.

“But tell me a bit more about this Alex,” his dad says, an inviting and curious smile on his lips. And Willie does.

It’s the first time in a while that he spends his entire weekend at home, hanging out with his dad. It’s a good one.

He greets Alex in the halls on Monday, and Alex smiles at him. Nick keeps wiggling his eyebrows at him.

On Wednesday he joins Dance Club again.  
Carrie puts them into pairs, and obviously she makes Willie and Alex dance together. Neither of them complain, and Alex visibly relaxes after a few minutes. It’s good.  
Willie gets Alex’ phone number. The week flies by. They text every day. 

The following weekend isn’t that great. Caleb has two gigs, and is stressed.  
Willie flees to Carrie’s where they have a movie night together. Trevor makes them pancakes the next morning. 

He has an argument with Caleb on Thursday morning, only a few hours before his father leaves again for two weeks. He’s invited Alex to hang out once since the rooftop.  
They’ve gone up again, done homework and chatted about things they considered after school. Apparently both of them wanted to follow their passions, but aren't exactly sure how smart that would be. 

Willie isn’t having a good day, because he also had to write two tests today and that didn’t go over too well.  
His day gets considerably better, when he sees, or rather hears, Alex and his friends approaching his locker at the end of the day.  
Nick left earlier because of a doctor’s appointment and Kayla and Carrie are busy with something, so it’s a welcome thing.

“No, Reggie, we’re not going to perform ‘Home Is Where My Horse Is’ at the school dance!” Luke is saying, when they’re within earshot.

“Why not? It’s a good song?!”

“It doesn’t really fit our vibe!”

“So what is our vibe then?”

“Emo-Pop-Punk-Rock but make it four queer teenagers who are trying not to get expelled from school by swearing,” that’s definitely Alex.

Willie allows himself a small laugh, before he pulls his skateboard out of his locker and turns around to see the group only a few feet away. Luke has his left arm around Julie’s waist while staring at Reggie, who’s pouting. Alex has a small smile on his face, that grows as Julie begins to laugh.

“Reggie, not this time, okay?” she says.

“You’re the only one who likes me in this family,” Reggie says and takes Julie’s hands pulling her towards him. She laughs again, hugging him.

“Julie! Reggie don’t fucking steal my girlfriend just because I don’t want to play your country song!” Luke protests, lunging towards them.

Reggie begins laughing and takes off, Luke close behind him. Julie and Alex stay behind, and make eye contact with Willie. The two exchange a few words, before Alex gives her a quick hug and makes his way over. Julie gives a small wave, then sighs at the crash from the other hallway and leaves into that direction.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Alex says. Willie smiles, as he always does, when he sees the other boy.

“It’s going okay. How about you? Arguments in Julie and the Phantoms? Do I have to be afraid that the band is falling apart before it’s even famous?”

Alex rolls his eyes.

“This has been going on for years. Reggie always wants to play a country song and Luke doesn’t, they keep arguing about it. Reggie isn’t even that bad a songwriter, but Luke just hates Country.”

Willie chuckles.

“You wouldn’t be laughing if you had to listen to them arguing about it every two weeks, and Julie just keeps egging them on, it’s exhausting!”

“I’m sure it is,” Willie says, sarcasm dripping from his words because Alex also doesn’t look too bothered right now.

He’s pulling on the strap of his fanny pack, seems to consider something, then nods and mutters a very quiet “okay” to himself.

Willie’s noticed him doing that a lot. It kinda seems like a thing Alex uses to reassure himself, or to calm himself down. It shouldn’t be as cute as it is.

“So, uh do you have any plans for the afternoon?” Alex asks.

Willie can’t help but grin. Normally it’s him, who’s asking Alex out. Well, not really asking him out, because that would mean telling Alex how he feels and he’s still not sure whether he should actually do that.

“You wanna take me somewhere, Hotdog?” he asks.

The nickname has stuck. Alex doesn’t seem to mind it too much anymore. Willie’s also started to flirt with Alex more obviously. Sometimes Alex responds to that by blushing, or meeting Willie with a response on the same wavelength. Or both. Willie likes all of these reactions.  
Although, the first time he’d been sure that Alex had flirted back he had frozen up for a second because his brain apparently couldn’t deal with that. He’s gotten better, though.

“You want me to take you somewhere?”

“Don’t know, depends on what you wanna do, dude,”

“I honestly didn’t think that far ahead,” Alex admits, seeming slightly embarrassed.

“How illegal do you wanna go?” Willie asks, grinning.

“Not at all? I’m not trying to get arrested on a weekday,”

“So the weekend would be fine?”

“Okay,” Alex says, chuckling lightly but shaking his head. “I’m not trying to get arrested at all, because then I couldn’t practice with the band and Luke would be pretty mad, which isn’t the biggest problem. Julie would kill me,”

He looks at Willie and emphasizes that last part.

“Flynn would probably help her,” Willie says.

“Oh God, Flynn absolutely fucking would, I didn’t even think about her,”

“Okay, so no getting you arrested, ever. Got that,” Willie says. He has an idea though.

“Are you perhaps interested in learning how to skate?”

Alex looks unsure. “I’m not trying to die, no,”

Willie laughs. “I wouldn’t let you die, Hotdog,”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely,”

“Okay, maybe,”  


“Nice,” Willie says, because sharing his biggest hobby with Alex is definitely nice. Great, even. He picks up his skateboard and Alex falls into step beside him.

Conversation is easy. They chat about their classes, Alex who’s really good in math and chemistry, the things Willie absolutely sucks at, promises to help him sometime.  
Willie, as usual, takes the lead. Both in where they’re going and the conversation. 

Not because Alex isn’t capable of that, he absolutely is, but because Willie feels that it’s easier for both of them that way.  
Willie has pretty much always found it easy to hold conversation or start one up. He’d not been the most outgoing of kids, but also not really shy.  
Caleb had kept him inside most of his younger years, so that Willie had tried to get as many social contacts as soon as possible after starting school and being allowed to actually talk to and play with other kids.  
And he enjoys talking, a lot actually, and especially to Alex. He finds that Alex, while not necessarily secure in what he’s saying or continuing when there’s a lull in the conversation, always has some interesting things to say, or just a dry remark that makes Willie laugh. 

“So where exactly are we going?” Alex asks after they’ve been walking for around ten minutes.

“A skatepark,” Willie says.

They’re not going to his favourite one, because some of the people he knows might be there and he, as possessive as that sounds, doesn’t really want to share Alex’ attention just yet. This one is also closer to the school and he doesn’t want to take Alex too far away. They arrive in the middle of a discussion on Dirty Dancing and the genius choreography in it.  
Alex stops short, when he surveys the skate park. Kids and older skaters are moving around, going up and down the halfpipe, performing tricks, cheering each other on.

“So you brought me to a secondary location to kill me, huh?” Alex says.

“You’ve got me, my plan has been revealed,”

Alex turns to him, and the clench of his jaw tells Willie that he’s actually worried.

“I just wanted to show you what it’s like. You don’t gotta do anything you don’t want to, I promise. You seem pretty stiff a lot of the time, so I thought let’s try something that relaxes me to see if it can help you,” he explains, feeling a bit foolish now.

Alex looks back over the park, stuffs his hands into the pockets of his hands. Turns back to Willie.

“I usually do that on my drums,” he says.

“You know, I’ve always been a little anxious, but it’s gotten more intense in the last few years and there’s nothing better to work through your emotions than whaling on the drums, right?”

“I like to just yell when I get overwhelmed?”

“You what?”

“Like, if it wasn’t illegal I’d totally break into closed museums just to scream a bit, you know? But I don’t really wanna get Caleb in trouble with the press so I just stand in the living room and yell occasionally, you should try it sometime,”

Alex doesn’t look convinced, squinting at Willie like he’s questioning whether he’s insane or not.

“I can’t really do that in my living room,” he says slowly.

“Well, then you’ll just have to visit me sometime,” Willie says before he can stop himself because, wow. He really needs to calm down. Alex stares at him for a second, gulps and looks away.

Willie clears his throat.  


“So uh, d’you wanna try out skateboarding or not?”  


Alex jumps on the chance to make the conversation less embarrassing for both of them.  


“What exactly do you mean by ‘trying out skateboarding,’” he makes exaggerated air quotes around that, “because I don’t want to eat shit on account of your skateboard again,”

Willie sighs in mock exhaustion: “Will you never let me live it down?”  


“Probably not, no,”  


“Fair,” 

Alex does end up on Willie’s skateboard. Maybe Willie has planned this whole thing out to have an excuse to hold Alex’s hands for a prolonged amount of time, maybe he hasn’t.  
It’s not like he’s going to admit this to anyone anytime soon. But he _is_ in fact, holding both of Alex’s hands, giving the other boy some stability while he’s basically holding him and pulling him along. 

“This isn’t too bad, actually,” Alex says.

“I mean, you’re not doing too much right now Hotdog, but yeah,”  


“Don’t try me, Willie, or I will get off and walk away,”  


“Sure. Can you get off on your own, though?” Willie teases. Alex opens his mouth, closes it, then stares at him.  


“I can’t actually. Help me down, please,”  


“You sure?”  


“Yeah, I need to prove a point,”  


“Which is?”  


“That I can get off this board and walk away,”  


“With my help, though,”  


“The help part was never specified,” Alex says defiantly.

Is this? Are they flirting? Willie doesn’t know. He stops anyway, bringing the skateboard to a halt with him. He continues holding Alex’ hand until the other boy is safely on the ground again.

“Not so bad, huh?” he says.

Alex considers for a second.  


“I mean, not really. Still doesn’t beat drumming though,” he says.  


“That’s just cause you’re not used to skating yet,” Willie says.  


“I doubt I’ll ever be, but I’d also like to see you trying your luck on a drum kit,”  


“I don’t think you do, actually,” Willie says, teasing.  


“Oh, believe me, I do,” Alex says. They both stop short.  


“That was weird, okay, sorry,” Alex mumbles immediately.  


“No! It’s cool, I guess it’s only fair I try it out at some point if you’ll let me,” Willie quickly amends.

He's pretty sure they’re flirting. Or at least having a flirtatious conversation. Whatever it is, he needs to get away for a second or he’ll do something stupid he might regret later.

“And after I fail you’ll show me how the experts do it?”

“I’m far from an expert, but sure,” Alex says. Then gestures around them.

“Show off then, I know you want to,”

“You know me so well,” Willie says, winks at Alex, and takes off.

He doesn’t do too much, because it’s crowded and he doesn’t actually want to leave Alex alone for too long because he’s pretty sure the other boy will get anxious. He does a few flips and rounds, before making his way back to the blond boy waiting for him on the sidelines.

He’s suddenly overcome by a wild, stupid, childish fantasy of himself at some competition, with Alex cheering for him on the sidelines, where he makes a quick detour before a particulary high stakes trick and gets a good-look kiss from Alex.

It shocks him, Willie realizes. Because he wants that. He really does. Desperately so. He skids to a stop in front of the subject of that fantasy, a little out of breath.

“Okay, yeah, cool,” Alex says. “I hope you don’t expect me to do anything like that,”  


Willie laughs, because Alex just makes it so, so easy for him to.  


“No worries, only rigorous training will get you there and I wouldn’t want you to be distracted from your band,”  


Alex smiles at him. Willie smiles back.  
At some point, he thinks, at some point he’ll tell Alex how he feels. When he’s sure about how the other boy feels, no matter which way that leans. For now he pushes his desires back, not wanting to make things weird between them, but wanting to spend some quality time with the boy he likes.  
And they do.  
They end up hanging at the skate park a bit more, watching and commenting on other skaters. Then they find themselves in a Seven Eleven where they buy snacks and drinks and head down to the beach. 

The afternoon is getting late, but Willie doesn’t worry about that. Caleb won’t be home anymore anyway.  
Alex doesn’t seem too eager to get home either, and Willie can’t blame him.  
They find a spot that’s not too crowded, settle down, attempt to do parts of their homework, throw it in the wind, almost literally, because it keeps ripping on the pages of their notebooks and Willie’s hair. He goes through his bag for a hair tie but can’t find any, settles himself to spend the rest of the day with his hair in his face, when Alex notices.

“Give me a sec,” he says, then begins digging through his fanny pack. Moments later he pulls out a hair tie with a triumphant “aha!” and grins proudly.  
“I keep a few for Julie and Flynn and the occasional skater boy who can’t remember to bring his own,” he explains as he hands it over.

Willie grins. The hair tie is a bright, neon, pink.

“Sorry about the colour, I can look if I have others-”

“It’s fine, Hotdog. Thank you,” Willie says.

He bundles his hair into a messy bun, pretends not to see Alex watching him do that.

They talk, again. About this and that.  
Alex tells a few stories of his friends that have Willie doubled over in laughter, because christ, they are an even more chaotic bunch than he thought. And because Alex is a pretty damn good story teller.  
Willie tells Alex of shit him and Carrie got up to, when they were younger. Of their regular karaoke nights with Nick, Kayla and the rest of Dirty Candy.  


They have some silences as well. But they’re not bad silences.  
It’s comfortable, sitting next to Alex on the warm sand, looking at the ocean, or the people passing by, or the boy himself.

Willie finds himself visually tracing the curve of Alex’ nose, the dip of collarbones underneath his shirt at some point, when Alex is leaning back on his hands, face raised to the sun, eyes closed.  
He looks peaceful, and beautiful, and Willie can’t tear his eyes away. 

He thinks about how easy it would be, to compare Alex to the sun. He’s bright, with it casting a warm glow on his skin, his hair shining golden.  
But Willie thinks the moon is more accurate. The moon is beautiful, but doesn’t always show it, in contrast to the sun.  
The sun is luminous, always there and bright and can be a bit too much to look at at times.  
The moon shines, a bit less bright but no less brilliant. It disappears sometimes, hides, and only those who look closely enough see it’s actual beauty.  
Alex is like that. He likes to tuck his brilliance away, likes to pretend that he doesn’t shine as brightly as he does. Only when someone takes a longer look, with a bit of patience on their side, only then does Alex reveal the true extent of it.  
Willie is sure that he still hasn’t reached the epitome of Alex’ brightness, hasn’t seen him shine as clear as the moon does on a cloudless night in the countryside, but he’s seen enough to know that he never wants to look away again.

Alex slowly blinks his eyes open, adjusting to the sun again, and looks at Willie.  


“I get sunburnt so easily I usually avoid going outside like this, but it’s nice,” he says, voice quiet and relaxed, and Willie is drawn to the soft curve of the other boy's lips.

“Shouldn’t you put some sunscreen on, then?” he asks to distract himself.

Alex shrugs. “It’s not gonna be up for long, now,”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t get sunburn though,” Willie says.

“It’s probably too late now anyway,” Alex says, while Willie begins digging through his backpack.

“Put some damn sunscreen on,” Willie commands, thrusting a small tube of sunscreen at the other boy. Alex looks surprised, but takes it.

“Do I ask?”

“You get a few sunburns too many while skating and you keep some with you,” Willie explains. He watches as Alex puts some of it on his face and bare arms.

“Satisfied?” Alex asks when he’s done and gives it back.

Willie nods.

“Can’t have you fuck up your pretty face with sunburns, Hotdog,” he says.

“I… okay,” Alex says, and the red in his face is definitely not sunburn.

Willie grins, and then turns away, to let Alex be flustered for himself, not wanting to pressure the other boy too much.  
They lapse into another silence, as the sun begins to set.  
Alex, who’s taken off his jacket a while ago, lays it out on the sand, spreading it out and lays his head down on one side of it. He pats the empty space next to him, inviting Willie with a raise of his eyebrows.  
Willie doesn’t let him ask twice. So now they’re lying next to each other, on the beach, watching a sunset.  
He’s maybe, kind of, freaking out about this a tiny bit. Because it really doesn’t get any more cliché than that, does it? Watching a sunset together. He begins to wonder whether today will be the day he confesses.

“Can I ask you a question?” Alex says suddenly.  


Willie looks over at Alex, who has his hands crossed under his head. He’s staring up at the dimming, colour streaked sky.  


“You seemed pretty down at school today, is everything okay?”  


Willie swallows thickly. He did not expect this question, at all.  


“Yeah. I think,” he says.  


“That’s not convincing,”  


“I’ve never been a good liar, but it’s nothin, really. Or, well… Nothing bad.”

“You could tell me? Only if you wanted to, of course, but maybe I can help?” Alex says. He’s turned his head to look at Willie now.

“I just had a fight with my dad, that’s all,” he says after a beat of silence.

“I’m sorry,” Alex says.

“It’s okay. It’s just really frustrating with him, you know? Because he’s home so rarely, for longer than a few days. And that’s fine, because I’m old enough to take care of myself. And I’m always happy to see him, when he is there. And it can be so nice with him, because we can talk and he’ll tell me stories and everything and then, the next second he suddenly becomes way too controlling again. He switches between being this really great dad and being this controlling dick so much that I can never make up my mind on how exactly I feel about him,” 

Willie is a bit surprised by how that came out. He’s harbored these feelings for a while, been annoyed with how fast Caleb’s moods can switch and that Willie never really knows how to tread around his father.

“I’m sorry about that,” Alex says again.  


“It’s not like it’s your fault,” Willie says, repeating an exchange he’s had with Alex multiple times at this point.  
He seems to realize that as well and gives Willie a small smile.  


“If you ever wanna talk about it, or rant or something you can always text me, you know?” Alex says.  


“You sure? You kinda got enough drama with your own parents…”  


“Yeah. It’s fine, really. If I get to rant about my parents then you should, too,”  


“Thanks,” Willie says. He’s still looking at Alex. Alex is still looking at him. They stay silent for a long moment. It’s not uncomfortable though.  


“I wonder what it’s like to have a great relationship with your parents,” Alex says suddenly.  


“Me too,”  


“I mean, I see how Julie and her parents are, so I have an idea, but I’d still like to know what it’s actually like,”  


“Kayla’s and Nick’s parents are pretty cool. Standard, I think. But I wonder what it’d be like if my father were like Carrie’s you know?”  


“Trevor Wilson? He looks like a bit of a dick, honestly. Or a substitute teacher or something,” Alex says. Willie chuckles.  


“Yeah, he’s… Very eccentric. And somewhat self centered at times. But he’d do everything for Carrie. He stopped touring even though his career was going pretty well, when Carrie’s mom left the family, to take care of her,” Willie says.  


“Julie told me about that,” Alex says.  


“My dad has been touring and opening clubs and doing his thing as long as I can remember. The longest he’s been home was like, four months when I broke my arm the first time, but he was also kinda sick then, so maybe it wasn’t only because of me,”  


“When you broke your arm the first time?” Alex says, voice rising a bit in pitch.  


“It’s only happened twice since then, and it wasn’t always the same arm,” Willie says. He’s glad to get a chance to deflect from the conversation about his father.  


“I… Christ. Okay,” Alex says, shaking his head.  


“I have the scars to prove it, wanna see?”  


“No?” Alex says, but he’s sitting up anyway and Willie mirrors him.

He has actually broken his right arm twice, his left arm once. Also several toes and the odd finger. He doesn’t tell Alex that, because Alex already looks alarmed.  


“Here,” Willie says and holds up his right arm, where the skin has actually been pierced by the fractured bone. The tissue’s still scarred, lighter than the rest of his skin, but it’s faint enough that you only really notice it when looking for it. He points to it, and Alex shoots him a quick look.

“Can I?”  


“Sure,” Willie says, actually unsure of what Alex is referring to.

Apparently it’s to grabbing his arm, because the other boy takes hold of Willie’s wrist, softly and gently, and pulls it closer. Willie watches as Alex traces the tissue under his elbow, turning his arm this way and that.  
He feels as though his fucking heart stops and has to remind himself to breathe, because he does not want to faint in front of Alex just because the other boy touched him. That’d be extremely embarrassing.

“That must’ve been painful,” Alex mumbles.  


“Yeah, but the first few days after I was pretty much all on painkillers so I don’t remember too much,”

“You’ve really broken your arms multiple times?”

“Yeah,”

“Huh, okay,” Alex says. “I can only remember one time though. I think it was your right arm, because we had to do some spelling exercises on the board and Luke was pissed that his handwriting was still worse than yours even though you wrote with the wrong hand.”

He’s still tracing the scar on Willie’s arm, and they’ve shifted closer together, unconsciously probably, because his arm is comfortably in Alex’s lap, and Willie can count the faint and few freckles on the other boy’s face.  


“That was the second time I broke my right arm. I learned to write with my left the first time,”  


“Ah,”  


“Also, I think you only remember once, because for one, I broke my left arm on the first day of summer break so the cast was off when school restarted, I had to wear it the entire summer,”  


“That must have sucked,”  


“Can’t say it didn’t”  


“Huh,” Alex says again.  


“I know I can’t really do anything about it, but I’m still sorry about the thing with your dad. If you ever want to talk about that, you can rant to me,” Alex says after a minute, looking at Willie with big, soft eyes and a tiny smile.

“Only if you want to, of course. I don’t want to impose or seem nosy, or anything,” he quickly adds.

“Thank you, Hotdog,” Willie interrupts him, cutting off what would probably be more unnecessary amends.

“It usually doesn’t upset me this much, not anymore, it’s just Caleb being Caleb, but last week he was so chill and I’m just annoyed that he didn’t leave on a good note.”

“Why do you sometimes call him Caleb? Like, you sometimes say dad, but now you’re saying Caleb. I was just wondering what that’s about,” Alex says.

It takes Willie off guard. He keeps being surprised by how much Alex seems to remember about him. It’s not a bad thing, but it doesn’t help his confusion over whether or not Alex reciprocates his feelings and what to make of them.

“I’ve never really thought about it, to be honest. He never calls me Willie, anymore, and I guess I just started thinking of him as Caleb, when we’re not talking or he’s being too controlling again. So that I have ‘dad’ as a more positive connotation, I guess,” he admits.

“That makes a lot of sense, actually,” Alex says.

He’s taken to brushing his thumb over the scar on Willie’s arm, while his other hand holds Willie’s up in his lap. Willie isn’t sure whether Alex is aware of that, but he definitely isn’t going to tell him.

“I still think of my parents as mom and dad,” Alex admits. He gets quiet, suddenly, his face falls a bit.

“You okay?” Willie whispers. He doesn’t want to raise his voice higher than that, because it just doesn’t feel appropriate right now. Alex draws his brows together, chews on his lower lip. His grip on Willie’s arm tightens a bit.

“I.. well. They’ve just been difficult, lately. Or, well. More difficult.” he finally says. Once again Willie’s heart clenches in pained sympathy for Alex.

“I don’t know if they’re doing it to hurt me, or if they genuinely believe ‘it’s just a phase’, but they keep asking me when I’ll finally bring a nice girl home. If I’ve finally gotten over this, and I quote ‘stupid homosexual bullshit’. It’s stupid, but for some reason I keep hoping that maybe one day they’ll recognize they’re in the wrong,”

“I’m so sorry,” Willie says, because there really isn’t anything else he could say.

Alex shrugs.

“Sorry about that. I usually don’t talk about that anymore. It’s too much of a bummer, and nothing I haven’t heard before,”

“So do your friends not know?”

“I mean not really, no. I don’t really want them to worry too much about me. I honestly don’t know why I just told you, either. I don’t want anyone to worry too much or anything, because I’m used to it by this point,”

“Oh, Alex,” Willie says.

Once again this boy is making his heart clench and his chest hurt and a deep cold fury burn in his stomach. Alex looks a bit panicked now, as he seems to realize what he told Willie.

“Look, it’s fine, okay? I’m used to it and I don’t really know why I still expect something different from them, but I don’t want anyone to worry. You’ve all got your own shit going on and-”

“Alex,” Willie interrupts the anxious rambling.

The sun has nearly set now, the last of it’s orange glow settling onto Alex’ skin.

“You don’t have to hide your shit because other people have some going on, you know that, right? And you might be used to it, which you absolutely shouldn’t fucking be, but it might still hurt. And that’s totally okay. If you want to talk, I’m here, okay?”

Alex stares at him, mouth hanging a little bit open.

“I, yeah, okay, yeah. Same goes for you, though,” he concedes, finally. Willie gives a satisfied nod.

They lapse into another silence, and, as the sun disappears and the wind picks up, decide to go home.  
Their goodbyes somehow manage to be awkwards again, a clumsy hug and a few too many looks back, as they walk in opposite directions. Still.  
Willie feels mostly happy. More relaxed than he did at the start of the day, that much is clear. And he really, really likes Alex.  
A lot. It’s kind of scary, honestly, how fast he's started to adore him, how much he likes Alex, how fast his heart starts to beat at the mere sight of blond hair. And kind of thrilling as well. 

-

He’s sprawled out on Carrie’s gigantic couch, sinking into the mountains of cushions she has there.  
Kayla, who sits next to him, has taken to playing with his hair while Nick is perched on the backrest, absentmindedly plucking at the strings of his acoustic guitar. Carrie sits down on the opposing side of Willie, so he can see her without straining too much.

“So basically, what you’re telling me is, you had the perfect opportunity to tell him that you like him, but you didn’t,” she says. There’s no judgement in her voice, just confusion.

“Even though he’s pretty sure that Alex likes him back,” Nick adds.

Willie sighs. He’s just finished telling his friends about his and Alex’ date? Was it a date?

“We haven’t even known each other that long,” he says.

“Arguable,” Kayla says. When Willie shoots her a questioning look, she shrugs. “You’ve been to basically all the same schools since you were kids. You sorta get to know other students then, and it’s not like you’re total strangers.”

“In fact, you’ve been hanging out a lot the past few weeks,” Carrie adds. Willie sighs again, and starts twisting the ring on his thumb.

“Look, guys, I know. Okay? Like, I’m pretty sure that he likes me back, in some way at least. But…” he trails off. He hasn’t told them about the issues Alex has in his family. It’s not his place. 

“But?” Carrie prompts.

“He’s got some shit going on right now, and he’s already stressing out about the gig at the dance, and I just don’t wanna add onto that in case I’m wrong,” Willie says.

He gets quieter by the end, but it’s true. He knows that many people see him as a super impulsive guy, who doesn’t get shy, or doesn’t think too much about a situation. He knows that even his friends sometimes fall back into that thinking pattern. He doesn’t blame them.  
But with Alex, well. With Alex things are different. It’s not just a crush, not anymore. Alex is special, and deserves all the good things in the world, and Willie really, really doesn’t want to ruin the friendship they have now. He is, actually, pretty sure that Alex would not be opposed to them dating, but it just doesn’t feel appropriate right now, when Alex is stressed because of his parents, and stressed because of the gig and stressed because he just _is_. 

“That’s very sweet of you,” Kayla says.

Carrie nods and gives Willie one of her rare really loving smiles.

“Okay, I won’t push it anymore,” she says. "But you’re still very annoying in your gushing about him, like, we get it, you like boys,” she adds.  


“One specifically,” Willie says.

She groans.  


“Yeah, surprisingly, we’ve gotten that,”  


“Wait, Willie likes Alex?” Nick says, the mockery absolutely evident in his voice.  


“I never would have guessed!” Kayla exclaims, dramatically clutching her hands to her chest.  


“I know, it’s so hard to realize when he doesn’t stop talking about how pretty Alex’s eyes are!” Carrie says, joining in.  


“Or when he can’t keep his eyes off him in Dance Club!”  


“Or when he literally gets the most smitten look on his face whenever Alex passes him in the halls and says hi,”  


“Or when-”  


“Okay, I get it,” Willie interrupts them. He’s laughing, but also embarrassed. “I do talk about him a lot, huh?” he mumbles sheepishly.  


“Yeah, but it’s fine, because it’s cute,” Kayla says.

She’s abandoned playing with Willie’s hair and just throws herself onto him in a hug. Nick joins, just seconds later. Willie groans under their weight, sinking deeper into the pillows.

“Well, from what I can tell Alex isn’t any less annoying with the band, so,” Carrie says, and is the last one to throw herself into the impromptu cuddle pile.

They’re all laughing now, although Willie mostly wheezes, because, well. Air isn’t that available under all of them.

“While I love the love here, I can’t really breathe,” he says. Kayle chuckles.

“I won’t get off until you promise me something,” Nick says, and although Willie can’t see the other boy’s face because Kayla’s hair is in his face he knows that Nick is grinning the way he always does when he’s convinced he just had a great idea.

“And what’s that, dude?”  


“Ask Alex out after the dance,”  


Willie agrees.

-

The two weeks until the actual school dance rush by in a blur of homework and tests and Dance Club with Alex and hanging out with his friends and Alex only one more time because he seems to be hellbent on spending every free minute practicing.  
All of his band is, and WIllie thinks that it’s no wonder they stick together. No one in their right mind would be able to keep up with them, if they weren’t also totally obsessed with music. 

Willie finds himself uncharacteristically anxious on the Friday of the performance.  
He doesn’t see Alex until after school, when he’s already said his goodbyes to his own friends, knowing that they’ll see each other in a few hours.  
Carrie instructed him to wear his best clothes not for the Dance itself, but rather for the confession after. 

When Willie steps out the doors he isn’t sure whether he will actually make good on his promise.  
But then he spots Alex across the parking lot, next to Julie.  
Luke and Reggie are jumping and dancing around the two, full of energy. 

Willie guesses that they don’t feel as much anxiety about their performance as Alex does. Alex, who once again looks amazing, with the sun shining down on him, his hair golden as ever.

Willie crosses the parking lot, eyes on the group.  
The nearer he gets to them, the more he sees Alex’s anxiety.  
He’s picking at his fingers, a habit that Willie has noticed in the past month, but more ferociously than usual.  
He decides to wish Alex (and himself) good luck, before heading home. 

So he makes his way over to the group. They’re too focused on each other to really notice him. Just before he reaches them Willie makes the decision to test, one last time, whether Alex could actually like him back. Alex has already picked enough at his right thumb, that the skin is very red and could start bleeding pretty soon. Because of that, Willie, when he reaches Alex who seems too into his head to notice the presence besides him, puts his hand on Alex’s. The other boy looks up, eyes blown wide in surprise, and stares at Willie.

“Don’t ruin your hands so short before your gig, Hotdog,” he says, shaking his head slightly.

Alex gives a nervous laugh, but lights up at Willie nevertheless. He looks down at where Willie is still basically holding onto his hand, then clears his throat.  


“Sorry,” he says.

Willie’s chest floods with warmth and affection and he has to take a breath to stop himself from confessing right then and there, because fuck. Alex is just too much.

“You don’t have to apologize to me, apologize to your hands,” he says, in an attempt to lighten the situation, because he is aware of the other three band members staring at him, and while he _is_ usually chill, the undivided attention of Alex’s best friends does make him a bit nervous.

“But seriously, you gotta chill out a bit,” he says, and Alex opens his mouth. Willie presses on: “I know it’s hard for you, but I’m sure you’re gonna rock this performance!”

“You’ll be there?” Alex asks, obviously surprised.  


“Well, yeah. Just for you though,” Willie says, winks.

Alex blushes a bright red, and Willie squeezes his hand in reassurance,

“I’ll see you,” he adds, clapping Alex on the shoulder, because he doesn’t want to lay it on too thick.

Alex stares at him, still blushing, mouth hanging open slightly. Willie is very much reassured in his (or, well, Nick’s) plan for the evening. When he looks away from Alex he notices the rest of the band staring at him. Julie smiles kindly, but Reggie und Luke are wearing shit-eating grins, and from what Willie gathered from Alex’s stories they will start teasing soon.  
“Good luck, guys!” he says, and basically flees before they can respond, because he actually might have overdone it just to be sure that Alex likes him back, and all of their staring isn’t necessarily reassuring. Also because it would be really awkward not to wish them good luck, and because he kinda wants them to like him.

He spends his afternoon haunting the empty mansion because he’s too full of energy to settle down onto anything, until he just decides to get dressed and go to Carrie’s so he can annoy her.  
Which he does, successfully. She listens to him ramble about just about everything, but mostly Alex (he’s very predictable and very queer) while she does her make up.  
In return he listens to her gush about Flynn (“She’s so smart, Willie. Like, literally so smart I can’t wrap my mind around it!”) and lets her put his hair in a bun. 

It doesn’t hold for long. Her dad drives them to school, picking up Kayla, Nick and the rest of Dirty Candy on the way.  
They’re all excited for the evening.  
Even though there once was a rivalry between Carrie’s group and Julie and the Phantoms, they’re just excited to see each other perform now.  
Since they’re the two biggest and only real bands at school they get to take turns in performing. Carrie also admits to Julie and the Phantoms being the better band in regards to performing at a School Dance, because Dirty Candy’s performances are always very choreographed and need to be looked at, rather than jammed out to. So she loves getting to perform at Spirit Rallies and smaller ceremonies at school, while Julie and the Phantoms gets to hype up crowds at Dances.  


The gym is decked out with balloons and garlands and sparkly stuff on the wall, as it apparently always is.  
Willie doesn’t usually go to the dances due to them often coinciding with when his dad is home.  
But even if he were home today, Willie wouldn’t miss this.

The gym is already filling up with people when they arrive, and they run into Flynn while mingling in the crowd. Willie is starting to feel some of that giddy anxiety that Alex has described to him over text the last few days. He can’t really keep still, while he stands next to Carrie who makes her way through a conversation with Flynn.

“He’s never actually seen Alex perform outside of music class and like, a year ago when I dragged him here,” Carrie stage whispers at Flynn’s irritated look towards him.

He gives an embarrassed smile. Flynn squints at him for a second, then grins and nods.  


“Can’t wait, huh?” she asks him.  


“Uh, I’m just excited,” he says.  


“And gay,” Nick offers.  


  


“Nick-” Willie starts but Flynn puts her hands up.  
“Say no more, my dude. We been knew, and I’m pretty sure you’re going to be even more gay after seeing Alex on stage. I say this as a lesbian,”

Carrie laughs, maybe a bit too hard, but Flynn doesn’t seem to mind. If Willie himself weren’t in a similar situation he’d make fun of Carrie. He probably will, later.

“Anyhow, I’d love to stay and chat, but I gotta go. I’ll see you later though,” Flynn says, mostly directed at Carrie.

“Wish them good luck from me!” she calls after the other girl.  


“Oh, Willie, you just need to confess already, you obviously like him!”  


Carrie shoots him a sour look at his impersonation of her, while Nick starts laughing. Lucky guy doesn’t seem to have any crush at the moment, so he can just enjoy making fun of his friends who do without any fear of getting the same treatment. The half hour until Julie and the Phantoms is scheduled to start rushes past, and Willie still feels like it’s too long.  


They take his breath away.  
Julie looks stunning in a lavender dress, as she introduces herself and ‘her phantoms’.  
Willie loves the creativity in their presentation, but the second Alex appears in the spotlight, most of his concentration is on the blond boy.  
He looks confident behind his drum kit. And absolutely fucking stunning. He’s wearing a pastel pink leather jacket that hugs his shoulders nicely, and pink just is Alex’s colour. 

It’s really over for Willie the second they actually start playing because. Jesus Christ. Willie is not a religious man but seeing Alex play drums is a religious experience.

He looks entirely different from how Willie got to see him in the last roughly one and a half months in which they’ve actually gotten to know each other.  
It’s like all of the anxiety and stress and nervous energy is left behind, Alex practically oozes confidence.  
He moves with the rhythm he provides, puts his body into it. He looks free, enjoys himself. At around the halfway point during the set Alex takes off the jacket, and continues playing in a black T-Shirt.  
Willie realizes he hasn’t actually seen Alex wear a dark top yet, and that that also suits him. 

And his _voice._

Alex mostly provides backup vocals, blends beautifully in harmonies with mostly Reggie, but also the rest of the band. But Alex also gets the occasional line only for himself and Willie needs to hear him sing more. He’d always been sort of aware of the fact that Alex is a great singer, but hearing him actually sing? Seeing him smile and enjoy himself without worries? It’s absolutely stunning.

And of course, even though his main focus is on Alex, Willie can’t help but admire the entire band.

Reggie’s energy is infatuating. The boy bounces around the stage the entire time, grinning at the crows, putting his whole body into performing, sings with a great voice and keeps winking at people in the crowd. Willie too, at one point.

Luke’s energy is a bit less all over the place than Reggie’s but still very captivating. He plays the electric guitar with lightning fast fingers, sings with his entire heart and keeps dancing around Julie.

And Julie. Julie doesn’t let anyone wonder why she’s the lead of a band with all around great voices. The power behind every word she sings, her range, the pure joy radiating of the girl is nothing short of incredible. She practically glows on the stage, manages to pull Willie’s attention to herself more than once. She invites the others to sing with her in the same mic, chemistry sparking between her and Luke everytime they share it, the joy increasing every time her and Reggie sing together. She keeps turning to Alex and hyping him up. It’s no wonder the crowd goes wild.

Julie and the Phantoms is spectacular. Willie jumps and dances around with Carrie and Nick, twirls Kayla around like they trained in Dance Club, but he keeps stopping, keeps admiring them, admiring Alex.

They close out their performance too fast, Willie thinks. He wants to listen to them for hours. His hair has come out of the bun, so he just abandons it, cards through it, when the crowd of students around him calms down.

Showtime has come for him. Now or never.  


“Do I look okay?” he asks Nick, who’s glued to his side, probably to make sure Willie actually makes good on his promise.  


“I doubt that Alex would care, but yeah,” he says.

About ten minutes pass, that Willie spends fiddling with his rings and waiting for Alex to emerge. He sees him, finally, jumping down from the stage at the side of the gym, still grinning, wearing the jacket again.  


“Okay, I got this,” he says. Nick claps him on the shoulders.  


“You got this!”  


Willie looks back at him, questioning himself for a second, but Nick gives him an encouraging smile, then pushes him in Alex’s direction. Willie makes his way over, weaving through the crowd. He stops a few feet away from the band, as Luke and Julie kiss and Alex’s back is turned to him. Reggie sees him, grins, Alex turns around.  


“Hey, Hotdog,” Willie says, for a lack of a better greeting. He probably, definitely should have rehearsed this.  


“Hey,” Alex says, and they smile at each other.

Willie is readying himself, takes a breath, but Alex suddenly moves towards him and grabs his hand. Before Willie can say anything he’s getting dragged to the far end of the gym, next to where the stage curtains are bundled together. The corner is darker, and empty. His heart skips a beat. Alex looks-, well. Willie can only describe the look on his face as determined but he doesn’t know what’s going on.  


“Is everything all right, are you okay?” he asks, because he is genuienly confused by Alex’s behaviour and it’s totally thrown off any part of the minimal plans he has.  


“I’m great, actually,” Alex says, and he’s smiling at Willie, some strands of his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, and his eyes still shine even in this dim light.

Willie can’t help but grin at him. The happy energy Alex radiates is magnificent.  


“Well, you were great out there. I’ll have to be very honest,” Willie says, stops, then decides to just plow on, to lay it all out there “You looked very, very attractive on stage. _Very_ ,” he puts an emphasis on that part, hoping that Alex gets where he’s going, and stops him in case Willie has actually managed to misread all the clues. 

He can also feel his own face heating up, and he hopes that Alex can’t see it in the dim lighting.  
They’re standing impossibly close, Alex who has a tiny bit of height on him looks down.  
He’s also blushing which gives Willie some hope, and his eyes keep flicking down to where Willie’s mouth is.

Willie thinks about how to go from here, but doesn’t get very far, because suddenly Alex is leaning down and kissing him.

Willie has only kissed a handful of people in his life, and it felt nothing like the kiss with Alex.  
It’s a revelation. 

A wave crashing over him at full force, tugging into a wild sea of emotions, pulling him under, then cradling him, buyant on pure joy.  
He can’t help the grin that spreads over his face as he kisses back.  
This is what he’s been waiting for. The feeling of Alex’s lips against his, their hands clasped between them. 

It’s stupid, he thinks, that he feels like in the climax of a romance movie, despite them being hidden away in a corner of their school’s gym.  
But he also doesn’t care because Alex is kissing him, and that means he definitely likes him back, which shouldn’t be as surprising as it is, because Willie has known, for a while, but the certainty is still kind of overwhelming.  
He pulls back, because if he doesn’t spill everything right now, his heart might explode. Alex looks at him, brave and beautiful and just, Alex.  


“I’ve been waiting for this for a while,” Willie admits quietly. He still doesn’t really know how he is going to explain his feelings, but Alex, once again, takes the initiative.  


“I’ve had an enormous fucking crush on you for ages, Willie. Like, it’s embarrassing for how long, but I really, really like you,” he says.

Oh, wow. Okay. Well.

Willie can’t help but laugh a little, shake his head, because how is it, that Alex, anxious Alex, is more daring than him right now? He doesn’t mind, he’s just flabbergasted by the wonderful boy in front of him.

Alex’s hands come up to cup Willie’s face, and he leans into the touch, savouring it as much as he can.  


“I’ve really, really liked you for a long time as well,” he says, finally, because there really isn’t much else to say. He settles his hands onto Alex’s waist, and he wants to kiss the other boy again, so, so badly.  


“That’s good,” Alex says.

Willie laughs again, because there is the more awkward boy that he's gotten to know, and he drowns himself in the green-blue eyes of the other boy, who kisses him again. And again, and Willie is so goddamned happy, and they’re smiling against each other’s mouths. Alex pulls him, impossibly, closer, and Willie goes up on his toes and brings his arms up around Alex’s neck and he feels the other boy’s hands in his hair.

A sharp whistle drives them apart again and Willie practically gasps for air because he seems to have forgotten how to breathe with Alex so close. He can’t help but grin at the other boy, because he’s so fucking happy right now that even the group of their combined friends standing a few feet away doesn’t do anything anyhting to hamper his happiness.  
Reggie is grinning even though Luke smacks him on the arm. Nick is giving him a thumbs up.

“Looks like we’ve got an audience,” Willie says to Alex, trying to smother his laugh in the crook of the other boy’s neck. Alex wraps his arms around Willie  


“I guess so,” he says, but apparently doesn’t care because he kisses him again, although only very shortly.  


“Took you long enough,” Carrie cuts in.

Willie can hear that she’s just teasing, but it’s still embarrassing and he wants to say something but Luke is faster:  


“Was he really dramatic and gay, too, or is that just Alex?”  


“Luke-” Alex splutters, cheeks reddening even more. Willie kisses him again.  


“He was very dramatic, always lamenting about how beautiful Alex’ hair looks in the sun,” Kayla says.  


“Don’t expose me like that!” Willie protests. He regrets not having taken Alex to a more private spot.  


“You think my hair is beautiful?” the boy in question asks, as their friends start laughing, definitely at them.

Willie, whose emotions are swinging very violently between pure and utter joy and embarrassment looks back at him. An unusual shyness settles into him for the moment, because yeah. Alex’s hair is beautiful and he’s said that out loud a good few hundred times but it’s still weird to say it to the man himself.

“I don’t know if you’ve been told this before, Alex, but you’re pretty spectacular, both as a person and to look at,” is what he settles for, because it’s true.

Alex’s mouth falls open a bit and, even though Willie thought that neither of them could become even more flushed, flushes an even deeper shade of red. He avoids Willie’s eyes.

“We tell him all the time, he just doesn’t listen,” Reggie says from the background, and a tiny note of sadness swings in that statement, which Willie can absolutely understand.  


“I’m not good with compliments,” Alex mumbles.  


“I’ve noticed,” Willie says, and, because he doesn’t want to see Alex doubting himself because of this, he gives him a peck on the lips.  


“C’mon guys, let’s give them a bit of space, Alex might just combust otherwise,” Julie says.  


The boys are starting to protest, but Carrie agrees and they shuffle away, giving them thumbs up, giggling and Julie literally drags Luke away when he opens his mouth.  


“I like your friends,” Willie says.  


“You can have them,then,” Alex says, drily, looking after them.  


“I like you more, though,” Willie adds and smiles at Alex who turns back to him, kisses him again.  


“Want to get out of here? Just for a second?” Willie asks, when some old song starts blasting through the speakers and the crowd starts cheering.

Alex nods, and Willie grabs his hand and they flee the gym. Mrs. Harrison is at the entrance, looking at tickets and making sure no one unauthorized enters. She sees them, and Alex’s hand clenches around Willie’s, before he lets go. She gives both of them a kind smile and once they find themselves away from the noise of the gym Alex turns to him.’

“I’m sorry about not holding your hand- I was so full of adrenaline in there but it’s starting to wear off, and oh god. I should have asked if I could kiss you, and so many people might have seen-” he starts rambling, voice rising in pitch.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Willie says.

Alex looks at him, jaw clenched, hands fiddling and Willie looks around. The halls are empty. He holds out his hand again. Alex takes it.

“We’re going to find an empty classroom, okay? It’s all good, Alex. I was going to confess to you anyway, you were just faster, and I’m sure no one saw us apart from our friends, okay?” Willie says, pulling Alex to the music room.

“You were?”

“Hm?”

“Going to confess to me,”  


“Oh,” Willie says. He clears his throat. “Uh, yeah. I’ve uh. Well I’ve liked you for some time now and I was pretty sure you liked me too, but you were so stressed with the gig tonight that I didn’t wanna add to that, and Nick made promise to tell you tonight so I wouldn’t chicken out again, but you kinda ruined that plan, so.” he stops talking, because a), they’re in front of the music room now, and b) Alex is staring at him, open mouthed.

“That’s… okay,” he says, pulls open the door and pulls Willie inside.

The door is barely closed before Willie’s back is pushed against it, and Alex’s hands are cupping his face again, and they’re kissing again.  
Holy shit.  
Willie thinks his brain really stops functioning for a hot second because, while they’ve kissed, the fervour with which Alex is doing it now is new.  
He definitely doesn’t mind though.  


Alex pulls back, they stare at each other, breathing heavily. Then Alex grins, let’s out a laugh and turns around. He makes it a few steps away from Willie, who watches in wonder, as the other boy pushes his hair out of his face, turns around again, smiles at him.

“I’m really fucking happy right now, you know that?” Alex says. Before Willie can answer he keeps going.

“I mean, I’m probably gonna crash in a few hours, and panic about everything that I’ve done today, but fuck that, I’m so happy I could scream right now. I like you a fucking lot, Willie. Like, a whole, gigantic, scary lot. And I’ve been so scared of saying anything because what if you don’t like me back? But you do, and I’m just gonna say it: I don’t really know why. But it’s great. Okay, I probably shouldn’t say this, but you’re really, really pretty. Beautiful, actually, and I love your laugh and- okay. Just.” Alex takes a deep breath. “If you want me, would you like to be my boyfriend?”

Willie stares at him. Alex’s high speed speech has, again, taken him by surprise, as basically everything he’s done this evening has.  
And he’s called him beautiful?  
Jesus Christ. Willie kind of feels like screaming too, because Alex is standing in front of him, beautiful and talented as ever and? Wants him to be his boyfriend? Holy. Fucking. Shit. 

He needs to say something.  


“I- yeah, dude. I really, really want to be your boyfriend,” he manages, throat suddenly dry.

Alex stares at him, nods.  


“Okay. Cool. Cool,” he says.

Suddenly they’re just staring at each other and it’s kind of awkward. Willie isn’t doing much better because, well. In the span of like, twenty minutes he’s been kissed by his crush, teased by said crush’s friends and now officially has a boyfriend. He’s screaming on the inside.  
Then he starts laughing. Alex joins in, both of them aware of how ridiculous it is, that they were kissing two minutes ago and now seem to be incapable of doing more than staring at each other. Willie moves forward, still laughing, and takes Alex’s hands in his. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and Alex snorts.

“Absolutely you can, you’re my boyfriend now,”

Willie’s heart soars. That’s fucking right. He is a boyfriend now. He has a boyfriend now. A wonderful, incredible, talented, beautiful boyfriend.  
He knows that they’ll have to talk later, about what exactly this relationship means for both of them, that they’ll have to talk about what they’re comfortable with doing, what not. That they can't stay away too long because their friends _will_ get the wrong ideas and also will not let them live this down.  
But for now, he has his boyfriend, a bit of time and some privacy and his boyfriend wants him to kiss him.  
So he does.

**Author's Note:**

> Congrats, I guess, if you made it to the end of this and thank you so much for reading!  
> I will definitely be continuing this series and expanding in this AU so keep your eyes out for more fuckassery by me.  
> I don't have friends, so if you wanna scream about JATP somewhere I'll just drop my  
> [Tumblr link](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/on-irratia) ;).  
> Also I'm not a native English speaker and I know jackshit about American schools so I'm really sorry for any inaccuracies that might occur.


End file.
